Friends are like opportunities to be able to get the best out of them you have to seize them like opportunities. I met Wavinya in 2017, no we bumped into each other, no we crossed paths, urgh no we just… actually I don’t know what we did but somehow we became friends. You see when you have a friend who harasses you but you are always missing her harassments the you know she is a special friend. Due to unforseen consequences and reasons, I will avoid using words such as special, loving et al. Am writing this piece to appreciate a friend I was supposed to meet earlier but we met later (I know am not even making sense) but you will eventually understand this better after you read it till the end then meditate for like 2 hours. It is not an important or thrilling story but just a…
~I have had lots of trouble, so I write jolly tales ~ . Louisa May Alcott.
Like everyone else, I have , for the better part of my life, interacted with clients and customers as a seller. You don’t have to have owned a big business or held a sales position in a big company but I know for sure you have sold something in your life. Some of you sold mattresses, set books and geometrical sets after high school, others sold house appliances after campus. Do you remember, how ‘desperate’ you were to have those items out of your way while getting value for it. Do you remember the negotiation process? Do you remember how much your customer needed to get value for their money? Most importantly, do you remember what you learned from the experience then? I hope you do, because I do. As many will tell you, a customer is always right. This is one fact I have come to live with.
It’s one of these sunny evenings and I just realize that I have been indoors the whole day because working from home🤨….. I have prescribed a routine for the sake of my mental health. For the days I work from home, I ensure I spent at least one hour with people or I take a one hour walk to the supermarket or to the grocery store.
It’s 4 pm and I have not done this routine thing. I call up my closest friend right now and say, ‘hey, can we go to Gateway Mall?’ I get a straight answer; No. I get mad and dramatic and hang up because apparently a friend is not coming through when I am in need lol. Well, it’s 4 pm; merely 3 hours to curfew, definitely there is traffic on Mombasa road, it’s risky to go to a mall right now and I do not have a reason to go to the mall. But I still have a reason to get mad, huh! So I change my mind and decide to go to South Field Mall. I have to take the next 45 minutes getting ready (please don’t ask questions😗). By the time I get there, the place is closed. I get mad. Madam, why?
I walk back home feeling depressed. There are certain street angels that live next to Kobil Petrol station. I walk past them, a tiny girl follows me and says;
‘ Auntie nisaidie kumi nikanunue mchele ‘ ‘Sina‘, I respond
She spanks me and tries to run away😡. She didn’t get far, I jumped up and hit her on the head. I shouldn’t have done this, but this felt so wrong; being spanked by a young female!!!. The whole group came after me with stones😭. I almost cried, I never felt this embarrassed. I have never seen pedestrians being so useless. I ran, and tried to end this ordeal faster than some people’s conversations, or so I thought. But it didn’t end until I found myself at my former salon’s place.
Before Rona, I went to my usual hairdresser and she messed me up that I left before she was done. It’s a long story, but I believe the customer was right. Let me make it short.
I was invited to a function in February by a friend. The invite came in early January so I had a whole one and half months to get prepared. I got a new dress and shoes for the event. I even went to get good human hair in town, just in preparation for the event. I am not extra when it comes to being a girl. I am very basic, in-fact so basic that I have two main hairstyles; braids and Ghanaian lines. You can now understand my preparedness and effort for this event. I even took a day off work just to get prepared for that day.
I walk to my hairdresser and ask to have that hair fixed nicely, like I had seen with those girls on YouTube. She insists that she has a different style that would look so nice with the shape of my head. Kwani what shape is my head guys? I insist that I do not want her style but she convinces me otherwise. Halfway, I tell her that I am not comfortable with that style and she still convinces me to wait for the end result. She completes the process and I am very disappointed and I tell her the truth. She starts speaking in her vernacular that I happen to understand. Guys, I think my tolerance is too much. I didn’t even respond to that conversation. I listen to her lament about me being ungrateful even after she tried that much. I was so mad, I just wanted to leave the place. I was so mad that she even overcharged and I didn’t realize. So when she was done, she asked for extra money that I did not even have. I asked whether to send via Mpesa and she declined. I asked whether to get the money from my house and bring to her and she accepted. It was my time to shine as a ‘bitch‘😃. I went back to the house, chucked that thing, went to pay the extra money with my hair undone. She fumed, but I did not care.
So on this day after being embarrased by street angels, I walk past their salon and my hairdresser calls me;
‘ Sasa, ni kama umekalia kitu kwa nguo hapo nyuma ‘ (Aaargh! Double embarrassment)
‘ Oops! Thanks! I didn’t notice ‘, I respond ‘You are welcome,’ she says this as she looks at my un-plaited hair that I haven’t done for ages, for the obvious reason; covid-19. I could read in her eyes one bother; i hope you loved the one you left me for!
Ideally, men are the only ones that can be bachelors. Oxford dictionary defines a bachelor as a man who is not and has never been married. However, Kenyans have another meaning of a bachelor. According to us; bachelors don’t wash utensils daily, bachelors don’t make beds every morning, bachelors ‘survive’ not because they are broke but because they really don’t care, they are waiting for someone to be their companion and help them do these things. I like the ideal Kenyan bachelor, I mean, these male neat-freaks are a big scam. So when you bring in a lady and you are a perfectionist, what is her work going to be? She is supposed to make you better. Extreme bachelors actually do three trousers a week, they keep changing them using the magic that comes with khaki or jeans trousers. There is one thing I’ve never understood about trousers; the moment you want to wash them, they are clean; when you want to put them on, they are dirty! Huh! Magical, right? Enough of my opinions on the typical Kenyan bachelor.
I think this case of bachelorhood doesn’t apply to men only. Have you met a girl who is kinda busy at most of her times during the day, loves watching movies, a girl who is just living; she is not dating, she’s not being a hoe, she doesn’t like nobody, nobody likes her, she just eats, works, sleeps and lives life as it comes? Yaani dem ako tu. Have you met one? To me, that’s another ideal Kenyan bachelor. These kind of girls don’t even cook, not that they do not know how to cook, but there is nothing that motivates them to cook. Wako tu.
I recently saw someone post a pic of ‘zambaraus’on his whatsapp status and this caught my attention. I was nostalgic at the glimpse of this picture. The English name is fruit purple but they are commonly referred to as Zambarau. I always admire my childhood memories and wish life could take me back to childhood. There was nothing much to stress about. The only thing that you needed to do in my primary school was to get close to someone who has a ‘farming father’ and every fruit season you’d be sorted. Every fruit was accorded its own respect. ‘Zambaraus used to be precious fruits. It’s been like fifteen years since I had this precious thing. When I saw this status, I set out a mission to search for Zambaraus, not because I had missed them, but because ‘Zambaraus’ give me good memories. They have some sentimental fulfilment. My primary school boyfriend was among the few people whose father had Zambarau trees. I used to believe that he was rich because they had plenty of these fruits. Don’t question this love for rich guys, it starts at an early age. You see, girls are said to fall for men in cars, I disagreed back then, no! Girls fall for men with fruit purples.
This evening, I was lucky enough that I accomplished my mission. I was walking with my friend towards the Railways station from town to board the evening train back to the house when I came across a middle aged lady selling these ‘pearls’. For a moment, I lost myself, I was overwhelmed, I was excited. Felt like meeting my first love after two decades of separation. I couldn’t hold my excitement
Me: ‘Hizi ni how much?’
Vendor: Kuna za mbao, thirty, fifty, ukipanda hivo. Unataka za ngapi?
Me: Za mia mbili
My friend hears this from his strategic position where he’s probably throwing a few lines to his den of slay queens.
Him: These are wild fruits, what do you need them for? Nunua hata za chwani pekee
Wait, does this guy think I want these fruits to make some ink for white board markers or something (Have you watched 12 years of slavery? Stephen uses berries to make ink to write a letter to his family) These things are forbidden fruits, I think they are meant for couples, they should actually replace popcorns at the movies. I need plenty for myself.
Before we finish our argument with my friend, the lady has already wrapped my fruits and is handing over to me. We move fast to the railway station as we discuss these fruits and I manage to convince my friend that these are not wild fruits and should be manducated valuably. He however swears not to have a bite. I’m not a mean person but, this was the best part. You make me buy less, you should not eat. Let me enjoy myself.
We get to the house and I clean my dear ones and start munching them one by one kama njugu. This is how supper is made. I have fallen for these fruits for the second time, I will be going back to get more, I hope I find that vendor. I’m not a bachelor tho!
I don’t know if there is anyone else on this planet who gets excited like I do, well I have not yet met one but I hope to. I’m one person who gets excited over the small things that people do. I get excited when a stranger says hi on the road, I get excited when a friend posts a picture of me on their social media wall, I get excited when someone calls just to check on me etc. It’s the small things that make me happy. Very little doings make my days. They are not really small things because they make me happy and I dont have a right word for them now, but I will call them ‘little big things’.
I feel extremely excited when someone complements my blog posts. I appreciate all wavinyadiaries fanatics and treasure you all😘. It melts my heart when someone DMs me to complement my work on wavinyadiaries.
Early last week, a friend and a fellow blogger Samike called and informed me that he wanted us to meet and have some few discussions with acquintances whom we share common interests and have a group called shining ambassadors who build each other and have plans underway for CSR activities.
It’s becoming odd that everytime I board a matatu, the conductor skips me when collecting bus fare. I know it’s Njaanuary but it has happened to me more than thrice in one fort night, I have many reasons to worry. On our meeting day I boarded an Embassava bus from City Cabanas and put on my earphones to listen to my favourite radio show on Kiss FM. The sun is very hot and I’m almost dozing off when I realise we are already in town. The other guys are already at the venue and are half way with their discussion when I join them.
One member of shining ambassadors Wambua whom we have not met before lives in Hungary and is leaving the country in a few days’ time and it was good that we meet and discuss a few matters before he goes back.
The initial plan was to have the three of us meet but coincidence made the meet up bigger (6).
In the middle of our discussions, Wambua starts discussing blogs he reads oftenly. ‘There is blog; wavinyadiaries, the author is so professional, the stories have great flows, I hope to meet wavinyadiaries some day’, he says..Before he can continue, he is cut short by my excitement , I couldnt hold it.. ‘Meet wavinyadiaries in person,’ Samike interrupts… ‘Really! Is she the one? Order your favourite drink, I’m paying and when I go back to Hungary, I’ll send you a smart watch, your writing is impressive’…
I’m still getting goose bumps when I remember these words..
Thank you wavinyadiaries fanatics. It’s the little big things that you do that make me happy!
It’s a sunny Thursday evening and I’m seated at our balcony chilling out with myself,staring at the sky. I stare at the sky when I’m overthinking. I’ve however sworn not to overthink in this new year and just let things fall into place the way they are supposed to. Life is too short and perfection is a scam. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t sit down, think and plan about their lives but it is important to enjoy life because there is plenty of time to be dead. I am therefore not overthinking but fantasizing. I don’t know if people fantasize the way I do, but it is one of the things I like doing. I fantasize about how much I’m gonna travel, I see myself in future with a loyal man and kids having lunch at a floating restaurant somewhere in Mtwapa, I picture myself sitting by the sea shore watching the sea waves and getting carried away by the sea breeze etc.
Suddenly my phone rings and I get distracted from fantasy.
‘These are the kind of people that should have the keys to Hell because they belong there, how does someone just distract?’ I curse severally before I reach out for my phone.I come back to the real world in order to receive the call.
Oh, it’s Silla calling!
It’s been three months since I spoke to Silla. The last time we spoke was last year😉. I’m now excited about this call and I happily receive it to catch up with Silla.
Silla is my childhood friend. We used to pick guavas and dig out cassavas in the village back in the days when we were young kids (Estate kids won’t understand a thing). We actually went to the same college before he dropped out and ventured into business. His business is flourishing. Silla got married to his long time girlfriend six months ago in an invite-only all-white wedding in Kilifi. Ever since he got married, our communication has reduced because he needs to give more attention to his wife (so I thought).
We have a small ‘catch-up’ and Silla asks if I have time because he wants to see me. ‘Is everything okay?’ I ask Silla. ‘Yes, all is well,I just felt like talking to you face-to-face’. ‘Okay, our usual place, right?’ Yes (We haven’t met at this place over a long time, I hope it still exists and has not been declared a riparian land causing it’s demolition). Silla lives in my neighbourhood so we easily meet up whenever we want to. I rush back to the house and quickly get ready to meet Silla.
After forty five minutes, I arrive at our meeting point. Silla is already seated, sipping some porridge from a calabash. He looks frustrated and does not seem to enjoy the drink. Our conversation starts immediately after my arrival.
Silla: I’ve waited for so long but I’m almost losing it?
Me: What? Was Dee expecting? (Dee is Silla’s wife and her full name is Diana)
Silla: No, I don’t want them anymore.
Silla says this and breaks down with tears.. I manage to calm him down and ask him what the issue is.
Silla dated Diana for three years before their marriage. Diana had told Silla that she was a total orphan and she had a small sister who was under her care and their grandparents who were also under her care. Silla had volunteered to take Dee’s ‘small sister’ through school. had just completed primary school and was to join high school this January. Today, Silla went to Kenya Uniforms with Dee’s ‘small sister’ to shop for her form one-admission requirements. It’s during this time that Dee’s small sister (Tasha) confessed to Silla that she’s actually Dee’s real daughter.
Silla breaks these news and I’m shocked to an extent that I’m even trembling. I’m about to recover from the shock when Dee storms in. At first I think it’s a prank but Dee ends up causing a scene at the restaurant we were chilling out at with Silla….
If our friendship was a fairy tale, we would meet on the very first scene. The plot would involve our wild-unending childhood stories. We would discuss our African mothers, the sunset, latest recipes, books, dreams etc.
There are friends that we meet and there are friends that are, like pearls, brought to us by God. These friends become family. One of these friends had his 23rd birthday today.
I met Bruno three years ago when he was in first year and I was in my second year in campus. He was a classmate to my roommate and would always accompany her to our room for lunch. Every single lunch time, Bruno would ask me to prepare them fried eggs and that how we knew each other. Later we would realise that we had common interests and our friendship grew stronger to an extend people thought we were dating. He’s the kind of friend that has always come through in my darkest moments. We celebrate our achievements together and laugh off our failures as we learn our lessons.
Bruno, this new year opens the 23rd chapter of your life. Make it an exciting read, full of joy, love and kindness. Happy birthday!
If I wasn’t an engineer, I’d be a psychiatrist.. If I had achieved financial freedom by now, I’d be a volunteer at a mental health facility.. Mental health is a topic that has been ignored for years.. So many people are suffering silently and have never found the opportunity to speak out.. It breaks my heart to see so many mentals on the streets of most towns and shopping centres in Kenya and most of them have been abandoned by families
I look forward to the day I’ll sensitize more people on this topic and the preventive measures to take.. I am passionate about mental health and I believe that there is something that can be done about this.. The number of times that I’ve stopped to have a quick chat with mentals on the streets is out of count.. I like hearing them speak out..
You dont have to walk naked on the streets for people to know that you’re mental.. So many people are depressed without their knowledge and their cure is in our hands.. All they need is to speak to someone and feel relieved.
25th December, I leave home at around 10am and head to town.. I don’t know if I am the only one who was not feeling this year’s Christmas day (I think ni vile sikua na nguo ya Christmas) Christmas mood is already set and I can tell from the less matatus on the roads..
I board a Matatu to town and sit next to a well-dressed, middle-aged guy..
It is my norm to say hi to anyone I meet irrespective of their gender, age, race or colour.. I say hi to this guy and he suddenly looks excited.. I have no idea why he is excited.After a few minutes, the conductor starts collecting bus fare and skips me, I donno if it’s intentional or not.. But I assume this is my lucky day.. I however remember how my parents used to scare me when I was young so as to always pay my bus fare..They used to tell me if I dont pay bus fare I’ll be sacrificed to the gods of poverty forever and because I always wanted to be rich, I would end up paying.
The thought of this being my lucky day is no longer valid so I end up paying.. Before I hand over my bus fare, I notice that the guy seated next to me is speaking to himself.. It is actually my lucky day, in a different perspective though… Today I dont have to stop anyone on the streets to have a quick chat.
I draft a way and before long, I cut this guy short…
‘Unaenda town?’ I ask him.. I know these are the kind of questions everyone hates being asked but I’m a typical Kenyan and this is our way of starting conversations…
‘Hapana, natoka Mombasa naenda Thika’ he responds and goes on with his conversation with himself. At first I think he’s being rude but later realise that he’s not.
‘Mombasa ulitoka saa ngapi?’
‘Saa moja, tulitoka na wao’ he says this as he points to the other passengers..Clearly, this guy is not okay and I can tell..
I keep our conversation.. It’s a mixed-up conversation definitely but it bears some fruits..
We get to town and the guy alights and stands at the bus terminus still conversing with himself.. I ask him if his journey has ended and instead asks me if I am hungry and asks me if we can have lunch.. He walks to a restaurant along Moi Avenue and orders for ugali-beef for both of us, later orders for two glasses of fruit juices..
I sit there trying to pull conversations with him but there is no point in our conversations we are at par.. I am excited that I’m actually having lunch with a mental.. He looks disturbed, when he’s done eating, he composes himself and greets me ‘Habari yako?’.. He begins his conversation as though we’ve not been together all through.He is a bit relaxed now and I manage to hear his story.. He tells me his origin is Tanzania and the last time he checked he was a student at a college in Dodoma.. In the middle of our conversation, he stands up and walks towards the exit.. I assume he’s visiting the gents shortly and wait for him to tell me more about himself..
Twenty minutes, thirty, forty.. He does not come back (Nilicheswo😂)
I sit there with ‘unplanned for’ bills to pay.. I feel frustrated about this, why did I even start a conversation with this guy? Why did I follow him for lunch? Why am I such a foodie? So many questions tripple down my mind but one thought hits me hard..
This is the best Christmas gift, pay the bills and leave.. And this is how my Christmas is made…
Those who have met me know me well because of my physical appearance; I’m quite tiny. Most ‘1GBs’ will agree with me that most people take advantage of this fact. We often get harrased by dondas, matatu drivers, hawkers etc. I think we actually need a president for the One GB fraternity. We need to be represented just like any other person who has a challenge.We ought to be respected. One time a matatu driver overcharged me and dropped me on the way, and asked me ‘wewe na hii mwili yako ndogo utafanya nini? Si ulie.’ I really felt bad about it but haidhuru, it is the truth anyway.
However, it is not always us being harassed, the vice versa is very possible. I kinda believe that only tiny people get conned. No not tiny people, tiny people who cant think fast. This was the case on Sunday in Nairobi town. I woke up early enough to attend the first service in my Church since I had a ‘date’ in the afternoon with my long time friend and classmate. I board a matatu to town and it drops us at Moi avenue instead of the expected destination, Commercial. Y’all are aware that Nairobi town is very deserted on Sundays. The only faces you see around look suspicious. I actually get suprised when I see ladies give their kids their handbags to carry for them in town. God,how? I dont even trust myself with my own handbag in town😂.. I walk alone and as usual, security guards ‘harass’ me .. ‘Kuja utusalimie woiye, kuja nikuonyeshe kitu’ are the kind of lines these people always have. We are used to it anyway.But we need a president.. I keep walking very fast and an old aged man approaches me and asks me where Gideon Society Sacco is.. Whenever someone asks me for directions in Nairobi town, the first thing that comes into my head is ‘conman’. I freak soo much and this day is not an exception. ‘Mafisi sacco did you say?’ I ask this in confusion. ‘No I’m looking for Ambassador, I’m from Zanzibar but I’m currently in Kenya, I work for an organisation that takes care of the deaf, blind and dumb.’
Before long, another middle aged man joins us and joins the conversation. From the look of things, these two men know each other but they act not to be together. The first man has a Swahili accent so I easily believe that he is actually from Zanzibar. The first man introduces the middle aged guy into the conversation. The first man keeps convincing me that he comes from Zanzibar and his team is in the country for a genuine mission. One thing that is clear at this point is that these two are together and are newbies in this business but they act not to be together, their confusion can tell it all. The older man is taking lead in this convo and he continues to ask both of us about directions to Gedion Society Sacco which is near Ambassador, according to them. He asks the middle aged guy where he works and he says that he sells motor spare parts. He turns to me and asks me where I work. I tell him that I’m not working and that I’m a student at a different town and that I am new in Nairobi thus also confused. I actually tell the two that I dont know where Ambassador is and where I’m going. I tell them to ask security guards at the Sonford Fast Food Restaurant but they don’t bother to ask them. At this point, I gather some courage because I have realised these two are new in this ‘con’ business. When he’s narrating his story for the second time, this guy says that he comes from Mombasa. He forgets that he earlier on told me that his origin is Zanzibar. I have mixed feelings about how to react about these people and the first thing that comes to my head is to try and display some power and energy in me. You remember in primary school when you’d tell the other kids ‘babangu ni jeshi’ so they can ‘fear’ you. Same tactic applied here
Conman:What course do you do in school student?
Me:Security.
Conman: Pardon
Me: Crimino (😂)
They go ahead with their mission and ask me to spare some minutes so they can explain to me about their mission work in Kenya.
Brain cell 1: Young woman ruuuun
Brain cell 2: They sound genuine just go and hear from them
Me: Steps aside with them
At this point, I don’t feel myself any more because of the confusion due to the fact that I’m aware that these two are conmen but I go ahead and step aside with them. I’m a stonger believer of God and at this point I say an instant prayer for God to take me out of the situation..
I’m unable to beat up these two men, neither can I scream for help. You all know that you can scream ‘mwizi’ in Nairobi’s CBD and turn to be the mwizi yourself. I can only rely on God’s divine powers to rescue me, and they truly did. I do another instant prayer and gather some courage. The two ask me if I am willing to extend a hand of generosity to their organization and if I can get my phone and take their phone numbers so we can talk later on how this can happen. I have been conned severally so I’m aware that the moment I take out my phone, it will be gone. I tell them that I am willing to work with them. I decide to comply with their terms as I think deeply on how to deal with the two.
‘I am actually interested in working with your organisation, it has been my dream to always give back to the society and I feel that you are Heaven sent’ I need to know more about this organisation. Where are your offices? Can I link you up with a donor I know? I know of a church that does these kind of activities and they can be of good help.’ I tell the two that I fellowship in a different church and I was priviledged to have been chosen among the members of the ‘Gospel and Preaching Ministry’ and I would like us to have a Word of prayer and read the Bible afterwards’. I act very fast and tell them that God is actually whispering something to me.
I’m one person who talks a lot and very fast so this proves to be of importance at this time. I talk a lot and since it is a Sunday, my Bible is in my bag and I remove it and ask them to listen to what God is telling them. I’m already taking control of the conversation and I can see from their faces that they are already on the loosing side. Before I open my Bible, the two disappear🤔
I’m left alone, in the middle of CBD, holding a Bible on one hand and my handbag on the other hand, looking confused. But for once, I have managed to play cool on conmen and caused their disappearance. I ‘conned’ them🙂
It’s 3am in the morning and I’m still up after a long day. I have been in bed for the last four hours and no signs of sleep (I got insomnia maybe).. I find myself thinking about my campus life; achievements, failures and the things I learnt within the five years I spent at ‘Mursik land’. One of the things I appreciate about a ‘national’ institution is the diversity in terms of personalities, cultures, fashion etc… I definitely made use of this diversity and learnt a lot.
In campus, you’ll make many friends: real, fake, loving, jealous etc all in a span of four or five years.. You’ll also be unlucky to find yourself in a toxic relationship.. One would wonder how/ what makes a friend toxic..
The following are characteristics of a toxic friend:-)
1. A toxic friend only calls when they need you.
Their ’emergency calls’ never start with greetings. The beginning of their conversations is marked by questions like; ‘Uko kejani, uko room? Uko wapi?’ When they call you they expect you to drop everything that you were doing and attend to them. These kind of friends are very many in campus and if you’re not keen, you will find yourself in a toxic friendship with them.
2. The user
This type of a friend will only stick by you because there is a favour they’ll always get from you. They range from ‘nadai favour aki’ to ‘nisignie daro’ to ‘nitakaa nyuma yako’ to ‘umefanya assignment?’They never start their calls or messages with greetings. They will be your great friends at the times when they need your favour and get lost once they’ve accomplished their mission.
3. Duffing character
When you are fresh in campus, you tend to make anyone who seems interesting your friend. When I was fresh in campus, I had this ‘clique’ of girls that I used to hang out with most in the evenings. This was common and is still common among the juniors. As the years go by, you realise that those cliques are as useless as duvets at the Coast☺. I actually moved from a clique of six to a loner. From an extreme extrovert to an extreme introvert. I wasnt ‘duffed’ per seh, i just realised the importance of solitude.
Duffing will make you rough, you clique of girls will never encourage you to look good because they use you to look good before others ,(this is actually what duffing is all about). Watch out not to be duffed!
4. A toxic friend will never let you grow
Hehe, this one is a weird batch. I have had several encounters and know them very well. They will always let you grow. One way of knowing if someone is toxic is by trying to know if they wish you well… When you get a new pair of heels, they will feel bad about it and ask for loans ‘kumbe uko na pesa, si unikopeshe’
5. A toxic friend will control you and change for their own benefits
A real friend will accept you the way you are but a toxic friend will change you to the person they want you to be. If you are an extreme social person like myself, you probably have come across the kind of friends that will always give suggestion on the way you should live. They will always control you to suit their liking.
The above are some of the characters that you will get in a toxic friend. If you can across these characters in a person, run my friend run because they are scammers. Real friends are all over and if you are not lucky to get one, choose solitude. Walking alone is better than hanging around fake people that will make you their own clown!
It is 10:08 am and I’m rushing to a class that I’ve always been late for.. Odhiambo’s class begins at 10am and i’m always late by an hour.. Being late for eight minutes will make a great difference, at least everyone will appreciate my punctuality today, I think they will..
In my rush, I meet Kate,
Hey Kate, how you doing? I’ve always wanted to talk to you, could you spare a minute for me please?
Kate smiles and goes ahead to accept my request
I always wanted to ask you something about your life, I think you just have everything that anyone could ask for? Why are you so blessed?
Why do you say that? She asks.
I secretly admire your life with James, you two seem so happy together on social media.. What is the secret?
The moment I say this, her eyes sink and her voice depeens.. At first, she is not able to utter a word… I realise that she has some hidden agony.. I’m missing Odhiambo’s class😢😢 (Udaku nayo!)
We move to a grassy place and she narrates her story..
Wavinya, not everything you see on social media is real, before she finishes her statement her phone rings and she picks with much hesitation…
Social media has put so much pressure on the youth especially those who are easily swayed away .. We tend to copy so much from the social media platforms that we are in not knowing that no one can post the bad side of their pife on social media.. We believe that we have to have a glamorous baby moon that everyone admires: you see, that perfect pregnancy shoot that eveyone wishes to have, where the guy goes down on one knee and kisses the baby bump, wueh! Who doesnt wish for that?! Who?! That perfect family photo shoot where every single member of the family seems to belong to the X-generation because grandma also knows how to make faces for the camera , that perfect business that is as much publicised as Aim Global and theeen, there is that perfect couple photoshoot
Everyone I’ve met has that one couple that seems very ‘perfect’ to them on social media.. Well, I’m not sure if everyone admires one or two perfect couples on social media but I think everyone does, if you dont, I donno what life is to you smh!
Personally I admire the WaJesus family, the two love birds are my power couple. I just feel that everything about them is perfect: their craziness, their love for each other, how they go shopping together, washing horse tails together, the list is endless I must say… Did I mention that I’ve watched Kabi’s proposal to Milly for more than ten times? (and still counting)
Oh! I think I should tell you more about this (next time maybe) but I fantasized about the whole thing, pictured myself being proposed on live TV and blushing and people clapping and screaming about it.. I know I’m not alone in this.. We all have these fantasies that land us in ‘seemingly perfect relationships’ on social media..
Once we’ve had these fantasies, we try fixing our social lives to fit those that we see on social media not knowing the sad stories behind the cameras..
It’s a sunny Thursday evening and I’m seated at our balcony chilling out with myself,staring at the sky. I stare at the sky when I’m overthinking. I’ve however sworn not to overthink in this new year and just let things fall into place the way they are supposed to. Life is too short and perfection is a scam. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t sit down, think and plan about their lives but it is important to enjoy life because there is plenty of time to be dead. I am therefore not overthinking but fantasizing. I don’t know if people fantasize the way I do, but it is one of the things I like doing. I fantasize about how much I’m gonna travel, I see myself in future with a loyal man and kids having lunch at a floating restaurant somewhere in Mtwapa, I picture myself sitting by the sea shore watching the sea waves and getting carried away by the sea breeze etc.
wavinyadiaries 